Why we overthink and how to stop
Thoughts come, and thoughts go, but sometimes thoughts play over and over in our minds without achieving resolution.
Rumination is the habit of replaying stressful thoughts or past events repeatedly in your head. Unlike productive problem-solving, it feels like being stuck in a "thought loop" with no clear solution. While reflection can be helpful when it leads to a fix, brooding is harmful because it focuses on helplessness and "what ifs," which only serves to increase your stress.
Trying to make sense
People often ruminate when trying to regain control or make sense of a confusing situation. This behavior is commonly triggered by low self-esteem, perfectionism, or high levels of external stress. It can also stem from past trauma, a strong desire for validation, or underlying mental health conditions such as anxiety, depression, and OCD.
This constant overthinking does more than just cause annoyance; it actively harms your physical and mental health. It also keeps the body’s stress response active, leading to higher cortisol, exhaustion, and physical strain, like high blood pressure. Mentally, it drains the energy needed for real problem-solving, often triggering a downward spiral of negativity and unhealthy coping habits.
Stopping the Loop
Here are five practical tools that can help you break the rumination cycle:
The 3-Minute Rule
Set a timer and give yourself 3 minutes to worry. Then ask: "Do I feel better? Is this solvable?" If the answer is no, move on.
Take Action
Distract your brain by doing something else: take a walk, clean a room, or call a friend.
Cognitive Diffusion
Imagine your thoughts as clouds floating by or leaves on a stream. Watch them pass without grabbing onto them.
Plan for the Worst
If you’re worried about a "disaster," write down exactly what you would do if it happened. This moves you from fear to planning.
Set Boundaries
If you're venting to friends (co-rumination), set a time limit so the conversation stays helpful rather than hurtful.
Help is available
If your thoughts feel uncontrollable or are interfering with your daily life, talk to your medical provider. They might suggest Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). A professional can help you rewire these thought patterns and find healthier ways to process stress. Whatever you do, please know that help is available, and you can regain control of your thoughts.
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